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- Why Not To Date Co-Workers
- 5 Tell-Tale Signs That Your Co-Workers Are Dating - AOL Finance
It is that time of year. Love or at least heavy lust is in the air. That means just one thing in the restaurant business. It is too hot to sit on the patio.
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Well that and co-workers are starting the annual mating ritual. At the most recent count, there are six confirmed couples at my restaurant. My opinion is simple and based on a great deal of experience. Dating co-workers is a horrible idea. My friend disagreed and offered to write the counter-point.
So today we kick off a two part series on dating co-workers.
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I am a child of the 80s and was raised on John Hughes movies. The hopeless romantic streak runs strong in me. I have been in this business for 15 years and of course I have dated co-workers. I have seen 15 years worth of work couples and even been in a few of their weddings. I have seen co-workers have babies.
I have seen co-workers divorce. To make my case I have laid out 10 problems you will face in chronological order. From beginning to end there will be issues you have not considered. I know it is terribly unromantic to write such a list about such a beautiful thing as two people finding love. As your heart is going pitter-patter staring across a table of empties at last call and into the slightly out of focus eyes of the co-worker you never knew you thought was so cute, here are a few things to keep in mind. You want to avoid drama and not be part of the gossip? Probably should have thought about that ahead of time.
On average it takes approximately 18 hours and 43 minutes for word to spread throughout the restaurant. The 43 minutes is that first person you tell telling someone else and it spreading throughout the staff. Maybe you both want to try extra hard to keep it a secret.
That generally means that one of you has someone in particular they are trying hard to keep it from. If it is not you, guess who it is.
Which brings me to my next point. You both have a history. One person has generally been working there longer. If it is them, now you will hear the stories.
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You can also expect grief from everyone who has ever tried to flirt with, been too scared to flirt with, or been rejected by your new partner. Anyone who does not like them now has a reason to not like you. Their friends will not necessarily embrace you as they wait to see how you treat them. This is only the purgatory stage. People looking out for your best interest see 2 and 3 will tell you exaggerated stories about their past.
Any comment you make to a guest or co-worker that can be perceived as flirting will be forwarded to your partner immediately. They will usually leave out that the guest you were flirting with was 76 years old. Every hangover is morning sickness and every comment will make it through the rumor mill. Most couples start out with a two or three dates a week. Restaurant couples do too, but then they work together hours a week on top of it. When they get on your nerves, you get to work a double with them. When they are not there, expect to answer questions about how they are doing at least a dozen times every shift.
This is not even including them waking up and asking you to work their shift which is its own slippery slope. I do not care how secure you are; you will find that you are more jealous than you thought. Guests will flirt and you will notice. Even if jealousy never becomes an issue, guests will create problems. It is one thing to have your partner come home after work and tell you about a mean guest. It is another to hear the story as the guest is sitting at the table. This creates a myriad of problems and expectations you do not want to deal with. You are pretty much going to have to settle for one relationship in your whole life that does not end.
That is the person who you live happily ever after with.
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Cause uh, my friend has this qt dish girl asking him regularly if he has a girlfriend among other things and yknow, I wanna totes offer him good advice. Is it hard to hire dishwashers where you are? If it is, and the dish girl quits because of something that went down with you and her, your chef will never forgive you. Worked with my wife at three restaurants in a row over a number of years. Usually side by side. It can work, but we were married before we ever worked together, so there's that. Once in a blue moon it works.
But when it doesn't work it fails big. I suspect the dynamic is different if the relationship comes first and then you work together. In the kitchens I've worked in or run all I've seen are cooks who start out with a fling, and then it turns into a disaster. I've seen it pan out once or twice, but I've seen a lot of total bloodbaths, too. In we had this Guatemalan line cook who brought on his wife as a prep cook.
They were literally divorced eight months later.
Had to always schedule them for different shifts, etc. Giant pain in the ass. Never ever ever date co-workers. Just don't do it. I cannot count the number of absolute shit-shows that I have witnessed, including the one unfolding at this moment. Don't get your meat where you get your bread. My general rule is sex is okay, relationships no.
Why Not To Date Co-Workers
One or two bad nights together you can work out, break ups are significantly more difficult to handle in the work place. I wouldn't really recommend dating. I was in FWB thing with a fellow cook. Relationship expert and author, Roland Hines, age 45, has been on both side of the co-worker dating fence as an employer and employee. As an employer, the Angeleno included a non-fraternization clause in his new hire paperwork, but remembers the tell-tale signs of attraction well.
Between email, Facebook, texting and Twitter, technology can make flirting in the workplace oh so convenient, but it can also be a fast track for disaster. Your Employee Handbook for Romance on the Job , say that sending sexy texts from your company issued mobile or computer is an easy way to leave a traceable trail of your tryst. Nosy or not, it's not impossible for your cubicle mate to sneak a peek of a love note if you accidentally leave it on your computer screen. Morgan Phillips is a manager at Oddfellow's Cafe in Seattle.
With more than two decades of experience in the restaurant industry, he's seen his fair share of workplace sparks fly. Couple that with a few post-shift cocktails and things happen. If you change your mind, here's how to allow notifications:.
5 Tell-Tale Signs That Your Co-Workers Are Dating - AOL Finance
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